August 8 is celebrated as International Cats Day or should I say International Evil-Mastermind-Ninja-Greedy-Fluffy-Beast Day. This day will be celebrated by all brainiacs falling into the traps of this tiny ferocious beast. Today you will find all good stuffs about Cats all over the internet. But reality is far more different.
Cats are evil. They are up to no good. Almost everyone will be tormented by those fluffy beasts today.
But not you. It is my sole mission dear Reader to beware you of this evil thing. I will give you 10 secret reasons why cats are evil, so you may escape this madness.
Warning [GRAPHICS]: This post contains images of cats being evil that can be disturbing to some readers. You have been warned!
1. Masters of Stealth.
Cats are Stealth masters. They hide in the plain sight, under the desk, under the table, on the roof, where else? They are always hiding so that you don’t catch them with their sinister plans. Here is an evil cat hiding in plain sight.
2. Claws at Your Precious Stuffs.
Cats want to destroy all your precious things. Be it furniture, expensive dress, polished car, even your Puppy. Cats want to scratch them off from the face of the world. Cats are evil scratchers, with their razor claws they want to destroy whatever you call yours. Here is a ferocious beast attacking your favorite footwear.
3. Evil Mastermind Genius
Pure. Evil. Genius. Bastards. Cats are always calculating, planning, observing to dominate the world. That has been their sole mission since the Middle Ages. That’s why one should be absolutely vigilant near them. Here is an evil genius already celebrating his domination.
4. Cats hurt babies.
There have been a number of sightings of cats being so evil that they should be kept away from babies. Reason? Cats hate children. Keep your young ones away from this beast or your child will end up with 8 stitches on his face. Here is why cats cannot be near babies.
5. Planning to kill you.
If you think that cats always attack feeble humans, then you are so wrong. They hate you. They will pounce on you to accomplish their mission and their target is YOU.
Their mission is to
cuddle make your life miserable. Do not touch them, or they will instantly harm you. Image of a human misery looks like this image:
6. If you don’t feed them they will chew your hands or feet.
They are hungry, and they will not judge between fish or you. Keep the beasts full and appease them, or you will be their next meal.
Below image is an example of an evil cat about to devour the hand of a human.
According to an archeological research of the ruins of Olde Town this fact has been proven true. The scientists have been able to decipher the diary of a local Farmer name Elric who lived there thousands of years ago. It shows the menacing behavior of this feline creature.
The diary reads:
I wast v’ry young at which hour i did see a gib eating a sir alive. The gib wast v’ry fluffy liketh mittens knitt’d by mine own grandmoth’r. On a full moon night, at which hour ev’ry corse wast asleep, gib stealthy ent’r the barn wh’re Wigb’rht the sheph’rd knave wast sleeping. The beast pounc’d on t and did swallow that gent alive. Po’r Wigb’rht!Elric
The excerpt from the diary has been translated as this:
I was very young when I saw a cat eating a man alive. The cat was very fluffy like mittens knitted by my grandmother. On a full moon night, when everybody was asleep, cat stealthy enter the barn where Wigberht the shepherd boy was sleeping. The beast pounced on it and swallowed him alive. Poor Wigberht!Elric
So if you have those kitty beasts, do not forget to feed them. Like ever.
7. Rule the Internet
Have you ever noticed why cat videos are flooding the internet? Well the reason is that they are outsmarting us. They are running secret organizations so that no one can doubt their motives.
In an Expose’ it has been discovered that cats have their own IT support. Their mission is to control the minds of touchy-feely introverts and book loving people, especially ladies. They do this to disguise themselves as cute cuddly puffs. Here is the leaked image of the Expose’.
8. Anti-social, lazy, and greedy.
Nothing more, nothing less than this. They think they are better and smarter than most humans. That’s why they do not bother to interact with you. They think they are too fabulous and too cool for us. Not only that but they say,
“You can’t sit with us”, in a mean cats kind of way.
9. Creepy Eyes
Those big, dark, and sinister orbs have power to make you do what they want. Do not fall into trap. I repeat do not. Or else you will become slaves to them following their every beck and call.
Beware! These orbs mixed with a timid purr spin the mind of healthy humans to make them into cuddling zombies.
10. They bring ghosts.
It is said cats can open door to the supernatural world. Yes this picture is a proof of a cat with its ghost invoked from the underworld. Scary, I know.
That’s all. By these 10 revealed secrets, I hope I have done my duty to warn you about the hidden dangers behind this evil thing. Rest is on you. Stay safe.
Thank you for reading my post. If you are still wondering, then this is a rant. NOT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY. I hope you liked it. Elric, Wigberht, and Olde Town are not real.
Cats are cool, rude, but cool.
HAVE A HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CAT DAY!!
Images taken from Pexels.com and Unsplash.com.
To know more about Cat day.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Cat_Day
Am I missing something in this list? Please let me know what you think.