Family is the basic component of the society. The number one ingredient for the youth’s happy life is their family. The parents are the most important source of their behaviour; they effect their outlook in life. The family protects your dignity and takes care of your wellbeing. It also gives us teachings that guide us throughout our lives, and these are the values one can everywhere one goes. In addition, family comes to our aid during hard times; family is the building block of a successful person. A family can either make a person or break one into pieces.
A broken family is typically considered to be a family where one of the parents is missing due to divorce or perhaps the second parent was never part of the family. With the divorce rate as high it is, more and more children are growing up in single parent families. Ideally, it is better for children to live with their mother and father happily married. Those children who grow up in a single parent family are looked at as being different. However, the problem lies in the difference of children raised by both a mother and father. Does a child need both parents? With much speculation, this topic has become a very intriguing argument. Children hate divorce because having two of the most important people in their lives, living apart hurts. For children, divorce is not a onetime event, but a continued process. This is a traumatic experience for their whole lives. When parents split up, there can be many emotions that the children have to face and deal with. These feelings, internalized or expressed, will result in a certain behaviour that will possibly affect the child’s outlook in life.
Having to deal with separated parents can sometimes also be much harder than if one were to grieve their loss through death. Some people, however, swing to the opposite end by denying that it affects them. They try to go on merrily in their lives projecting an image that they are handling it well. The truth is, there is a world of difference between what one experiences in a healthy family versus one that is broken. It does not, however, spell doom in their lives and they can do something about it. This implies, that they need to take time to identify their feelings and thoughts that are running through them. Only when they know what they feel, can they learn to overcome it, and move on with better strength, positivity and hope.
Effects on Children
In the start of a divorce, parents tend to argue non-stop and just have a sense of despair around the household. Children around that type of atmosphere can get confused and blame themselves for such arguments and the overall unhappiness. It is difficult to accept that it’s not your fault. A spiralling mind with endless thoughts and loneliness with no escape often leads to self-blame and guilt; the feeling that your birth was a burden and the cause of this whole mess.
When dealing with divorce, the effects on the children vary differently on their age, time of separation and personality and family relationship. For instance, infants and young children may experience some negative development effects, older children and teenagers tend to suffer more and have a more lasting effect on their social, emotional and educational day to day life.
In most broken homes, older children are forced to grow up faster and take on more responsibility around the house. After a divorce, children from pre-school to late adolescence tend to experience the most of their problems in emotional development.
While it does sucks to come from a broken family, a person learns many things. One learns to endure hardships and persist in the face of adversity. One learns to face and deal with embarrassment. They gain a unique sense of compassion and empathy. They know to never mistreat someone as they never know what they have to face at their homes.
Even after growing up, these memories, the mushy feelings, the unquenchable thirst will creep in oneself. There will be days when that anger will come biting back. There will be moments where realizations will hit oneself. Nothing in this world has ever been permanent and things always fall apart. But In the end, these dark days gives one a feeling deep down that they will never be enough. Something inside a person will always be hollow, empty.
But every now and then, beautiful things will distract them from themselves. Just a small tip for children dealing with this scenario: Don’t let the small petty details happening in your life pass away without you even noticing it. These are the moments that you need in order to grow again; take the process and own it as a chance for your rebirth.
Categories: Social Issues