“How Does it feels to be a Single Child”

Childhood is the phase of life where our heart & soul truly resides. The time span of childhood is always precious, indescribable, tension- free and THE BEST. The time we spent in our childhood can never be compared to any phase of our life. Childhood is something which we will cherish for the rest of our life, it is probably the best time we all had in our whole life span. For some children, it might be a scary one also, but the things we learned and did in our childhood are absolutely unforgettable and always has a special place in our heart. Everyone has a different childhood, so I can only relay what it was like for me growing up as a single child. Being a single child consists of mixed emotions,at one point of time you enjoy being a single child, but when you become an adult , when you have so many things going on in your mind, when you literally want your person to listen to your feelings and the things that are going on, it hits you when you realise that you are all alone in this and there’s no one to listen and it literally breaks your heart. It is the only time where every single child might have felt the need of a sibling. Being a single child is never ever easy, spending the childhood all alone has mad a habit of being alone, and to be in your own little world. Having no siblings definitely affects the childhood and the adulthood of the person.

The phase of a childhood – where a small kid needs someone to play with, to share things with, to fight with, to make lifetime memories with, to get clicked doing some stupid stuff and later cherishing them, to care, to fight for the chocolate and what not.. but having no siblings means no one to play with or to do any of these things with, which completely affects the childhood of the person, it made the person to live alone, to entertain himself or herself, to play alone, to eat alone without any fight, to do every thing which developed a habit of being alone. Being alone is something very terrible, but for all the single child out there it has become a part of life for us, where for some children being alone is something very terrible for them, but for us, being lonely, soothes us and has become our comfort zone now. At some point we might have cried for being alone or having no siblings, but later when we learned to live alone, to play alone it become a part of our daily life, a part of our personality. In the adulthood phase, the need of having atleast one sibling hits the most, specially when you have no one to discuss your personal issues, trauma and fears. Though we cannot share everything with our parents. We literally need our person who has the same genes, same thought process. Adulthood is the phase where we face a lot of rejections , heartbreaks, we lose friends, denials and it is the age where we might lose one of our parent, the need of a sibling can be truly felt here only, when there’s no one to discuss your inner feelings or someone to guide you for the future, to atleast gives you a surety that, “everything will be alright”, that ,“I’m here” but then it hits you that you are all alone in this, that only you’ve got some serious responsibilities of your parents of their future and that you are all alone in this, you become hopeless and helpless when there’s no one to share about what’s going inside, what’s eating you. No one who knows you completely, who knows your innermost fear and insecurities. It is the time where you feel the need of having a sibling the most, but all you can do is nothing, you have to be strong in this, you have to feel comfortable in being alone, you have to do all the things alone. This is the time where a person’s heart breaks inside. Being a single child is never too easy, it is something we have to adjust in, to get comfortable in. Afterall, it’s not at all easy to spend your childhood all alone while seeing your friends having fun with their siblings, it something that hits you from inside. Being a single child means being all alone since the day you born without any sibling, being alone is something that made the child a bit mature than when the child is assumed to be.

I learned very early on how to entertain myself.I’m often asked if I was lonely growing up without siblings. I really wasn’t. Without siblings around to play with, I was forced to figure out ways to entertain myself. As a young child I enjoyed building things, usually with LEGOs and many other things like that. I also liked to draw, even though I was never particularly good at it. As I got older, I became very interested in computers, which became something that could infinitely satiate my desire to build and learn.

I was very curious about why I didn’t have a brother or sister. Growing up, all of the kids in my neighborhood had siblings and that confused me. I remember asking my parents why I didn’t have a brother or sister and them more or less saying that the reason I didn’t have a sibling is simply because I just didn’t have a sibling. One time after seeing a TV show about long-lost siblings reunited, I became obsessed with the idea and questioned my mom for a while about the possibility of me having a long-lost twin. At the time, I was confused how she could be so sure that I didn’t.

I never had to fight for my parents’ attention. I never felt like I was competing with anyone or anything for my parents’ attention. Whenever I needed to or wanted to talk about something, I had an attentive parent. As a result, I was always fully supported in my major interests. My mother and father has done their best to make me comfortable of doing everything alone. Instead of a sibling, my father used to eat the food made up of the paper from my kitchen set, he never complained and he literally enjoyed eating paper just for me. Both of them made my childhood easier and funnier, they both has also played the role of a sibling that I always needed.

My parents were often over-protective. From what I’ve observed, later siblings usually get more leeway than older siblings do. Parents, after the first few times around, figure out what children can actually handle at what ages and aren’t as scared to let them make mistakes. My parents weren’t terribly strict, but they often worried about me making mistakes, not because I was irresponsible or untrustworthy, but simply because I was the only child.

I like attention and want my accomplishments to be recognized. Growing up, every little thing I accomplished was celebrated, no matter how trivial. Moreover, I often listened to my parents bragging about how I accomplished this or that or the other thing to anyone who would listen. Now, like a stereotypical only child, I feel a need for my accomplishments to be called out and recognized for their importance.

I grew up always in my head. I had a lot of alone time, which meant I had a lot of time to think about everything, with no one around to distract me from it. I was (and still am) always in my head. I analyzed and over-thought everything. I was often in a state of worry. I had a lot of trouble sleeping as a teenager, because I was unable to turn off my thoughts and get into a restful place.

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